Work Smarter, Not Harder

Picture it. Tampa, 2002. (Yes, I’m a Golden Girls fan!) Half-naked women everywhere. Hungry - bills to pay, mouths to feed, shoes to buy. Timing is everything. Him? No. He just got here. Let him marinate for a minute. If you're the first to go over, you're almost guaranteed a rejection. He wants to survey…

Talk Is Cheap…Are You?

There are moments in life when it pays to be cute.  In fact, that’s how I landed my first bartending gig.  It all started at a local establishment in the dead center of Tampa’s club mecca - Ybor City.  I met this really, really cute girl (we’ll call her Kate) and she was adorable.  I…

If I Only Had A Brain…Or A Penis.

I won't keep you in suspense.  But I have to say that I must have a thing for backseats.  A group of us, consisting of mostly the same ladies from the Halloween outing, went out partying (surprise!) and got comfortably intoxicated and had an orgy in the back of a limo.  I do believe it…

One Night Only

I tried very hard to stay out of trouble for a while.  Girl trouble.  So naturally, I worked myself half to death.  Summer ended, the holidays fast approached.  The first of them, Halloween - my favorite.  Of course, every night is like Halloween when you're a stripper.  Sexy, naughty, barely-there costumes.  That year, I decided…

Warning: Don’t Feed the Lesbian

I know what you're thinking: why the hell would you have sex with a woman whose hygiene was more than questionable?  It's easy.  I didn't do a damn thing - a pillow princess to the extreme.  And just to clarify: that's not my style.  I'm very active in my sexual endeavors; that's what I love the…

“Butch” and the Sundance Kid

I regretted giving Lisa my number as soon as my feet hit land.  I had no idea how much until about a week later.  She called me the next day.  Of course she did.  As we were chatting, I scolded myself.  What is my issue?  Had I really become that conceited that I thought I was…

Something Funky This Way Comes

I eventually got over Theresa.  And under someone else.  It didn't happen right away and it was a bad choice, hands down.  But it was pity sex that was cute and pathetic at the same time.  Life went on at the strip club for awhile...running shorts guy came and went a few times (figuratively, not…

It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here

So there I was - nice, cool, clean white sheets with an absolutely gorgeous woman spooning me...just where I would die to be at this very moment.  And I couldn't stop coughing.  It got so bad that I couldn't breathe.  Theresa tried rubbing my back, slowly inching away from her contaminated bedmate.  Who the hell could…

My Two Selves

I can't help but compare my present life with the events in my past.  It's like I'm in a parallel universe as I live and experience things now and reminisce about things way back when.  When it comes to relationships, I'm not sure if I've matured enough since then...I'm single again.  I had to make…

You Got to Coordinate

Working in a strip club when you're in a fantastic mood is actually really fun.  Smiles are infectious and mine was contaminating the entire building.  Who could resist getting a dance from an entertainer who seemed to love her job so much?  'Would you like to see me naked?'  Sure!  'Good, because I can't wait to…