F#ck@ng Strippers. G*dd^mn Lesbians.

Strippers are notorious for being no-shows, late, unkempt and even lazy.  Former strippers sometimes have a tendency to maintain some of those ill-gotten habits every once in a while.  While I have random moments of perfection, I confess.  I've been a bit sidetracked. Life happens and what was happening in my life at that moment…

A Word…

...problem - for strippers. Very few people believe that there is an abundance of intelligence in the world of exotic performance.  I've brought it up before, but I now feel the need to elaborate on what I've aptly termed, 'Stripper Calculus.' Let's take a look, shall we? LIMITS OF FUNCTIONS AS X APPROACHES A CONSTANT…

All’s Fair in Love and Bitch Slaps

Irritated doesn't begin to describe what I was feeling every time I stepped into the world of Jen: my own peers fawning over her like she was an oracle, asking hustling advice, laughing at everything she said, complimenting her taste in clothing.  Barf.  Traitors. I made sure to stay away from her and anything she…

Fuck.

Jen...Jen, Jen.  Jen.  Jen. Fuck. My safe haven has been compromised.  Where else was I going to work?  I could not for the life of me find the strength to will myself into accepting her as my boss.  It would be too much of a bruise to my ego.  I had to save face and…

Tit for Tat

Okay, so after a couple more weeks at Turbulence, it just wasn't my thing.  I didn't like the crowd.  I didn't like the music and I definitely didn't like the manager.  And the tips I was bringing in just wasn't enough to make up for it.  To recoup my losses, I doubled down on my…

Tough Break

Getting back to Tampa was a relief - I'd never been happier to be back in familiar territory.  No worries about getting back and forth to work, where to eat, permits or a runty little man smoking weed in my bathroom.  Of course, it was a bit mundane at first: the girls at work weren't…

In The Weeds

Work, work, work...that's all we did between the two clubs.  We were finally making some real money so it was worth the sore muscles, back aches and cramped feet.  What wasn't worth it was my friend and her boyfriend arguing at any given moment.  I was sick of it.  I finally had the last straw…

Weigh-In #1b

Yeah, so if I were to grade reader participation for weigh-in #1, you guys would fail. It doesn't mean I don't adore and appreciate you: it just means that I should try a different approach.  Like something extra, extra simple...like red or blue - which color is better? Seriously, I'll make it a little more…

Happy Birthday, Stripper X!

Another year, another year.  I'm grateful: a good job, nice place, wonderful friends and an awesome blog to share my most intimate stories with strangers!  A girl couldn't ask for more.  Have a wonderful April 21st.  Celebrate, it's my birthday...

I’ll Take That One and Two of Those, Please…to go

Vampire Strippers - Woohoo!

We awoke the next day with a plan: work, work, work.  But first, let's gamble.  It was brief.  First I was up, then I was down.  Blackjack, for me, turned into the black joke.  I was up a whopping $12 and I was thrilled.  Then I lost it all.  It was a blur.  Oh well,…