…problem – for strippers. Very few people believe that there is an abundance of intelligence in the world of exotic performance. I’ve brought it up before, but I now feel the need to elaborate on what I’ve aptly termed, ‘Stripper Calculus.’ Let’s take a look, shall we? LIMITS OF FUNCTIONS AS X APPROACHES A CONSTANT … Continue reading A Word…
When you finally get that elusive first dance of the night… Continue reading PFFFFFFT!
There is nothing more thrilling than feeling like a star. Even if it is just for the night. We left the club on a high – ready for more, ready to make a profit. We had two months to prepare. At first, everyone was on board until the date was changed. They wanted us to … Continue reading To Wong Foo, Thanks for Nothing
I started with my dance classmates. Some of them were young, still living with parents – or at least highly dependent on Mom and Dad – so the chances that they’d be interested in performing for peanuts was very high. I also enlisted the help of a couple of friends who had some dancing chops. … Continue reading AND?
Several days later, I was still alive and my hand hadn’t turned black, rotted and fallen off – so I felt a bit better. In betwixt all of my shenanigans, mostly just being a pissy stripper, I was still dancing with a small local company. It just always made me feel good to come full … Continue reading Break Up to Make Up
Vegas. One can never truly appreciate the buzz of every color neon imaginable. Everything glowed: bars, clubs, casinos, hotels, buses, even the Waffle House had neon. Now, I always thought that the purpose of neon was to differentiate yourself from the others: but what about when EVERYTHING has neon trim? Is that stuff toxic in … Continue reading Welcome To The (Neon) Jungle
We got up fairly early, around noon, which is fairly early for strippers. Our plan? Go to the sheriff’s station and get our permits, come back to the hotel, squeeze in some gambling and a small nap, get ready for work and arrive at The Cheetah by 2 am to get on the 3 am … Continue reading Now Serving #976
Picture it. Tampa, 2002. (Yes, I’m a Golden Girls fan!) Half-naked women everywhere. Hungry – bills to pay, mouths to feed, shoes to buy. Timing is everything. Him? No. He just got here. Let him marinate for a minute. If you’re the first to go over, you’re almost guaranteed a rejection. He wants to survey … Continue reading Work Smarter, Not Harder
There are moments in life when it pays to be cute. In fact, that’s how I landed my first bartending gig. It all started at a local establishment in the dead center of Tampa’s club mecca – Ybor City. I met this really, really cute girl (we’ll call her Kate) and she was adorable. I … Continue reading Talk Is Cheap…Are You?
I know what you’re thinking: why the hell would you have sex with a woman whose hygiene was more than questionable? It’s easy. I didn’t do a damn thing – a pillow princess to the extreme. And just to clarify: that’s not my style. I’m very active in my sexual endeavors; that’s what I love the … Continue reading Warning: Don’t Feed the Lesbian