Quid Pro Hoe

You may remember the below scenario from my contribution for the TMI Award.  I'm sharing it again because, well, it happen right around this time during my stint at this particular lesbian bar.  But allow me to elaborate... Tampa, me, drunk...insert cute bartender, Gwen - cute, with long black hair and the knowledge of every popular…

Tit for Tat

Okay, so after a couple more weeks at Turbulence, it just wasn't my thing.  I didn't like the crowd.  I didn't like the music and I definitely didn't like the manager.  And the tips I was bringing in just wasn't enough to make up for it.  To recoup my losses, I doubled down on my…

You’re a Good Boy! Yes you are!

I arrived early, way before it was time for my bar back to load the tub.  I made a few minor adjustments: my tub position, cash register position, my bottle opener position - I was so ready.  When the bar back brought out his beer cases, I brought out my notepad and pen. What are…

Tough Break

Getting back to Tampa was a relief - I'd never been happier to be back in familiar territory.  No worries about getting back and forth to work, where to eat, permits or a runty little man smoking weed in my bathroom.  Of course, it was a bit mundane at first: the girls at work weren't…

I’ll Take That One and Two of Those, Please…to go

Vampire Strippers - Woohoo!

We awoke the next day with a plan: work, work, work.  But first, let's gamble.  It was brief.  First I was up, then I was down.  Blackjack, for me, turned into the black joke.  I was up a whopping $12 and I was thrilled.  Then I lost it all.  It was a blur.  Oh well,…

The Incredibly Credible Misadventures of 3 Strippers in Vegas

What happens in Vegas...sometimes really sucks.  I had to get out of town and the opportunity presented itself last minute, so off I went with two friends.  Yes, it happen just that fast.  I had grown tired of Tampa and drama and I figured, what the hell?  Why not?  I have no kids, no relationship,…

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Picture it. Tampa, 2002. (Yes, I’m a Golden Girls fan!) Half-naked women everywhere. Hungry - bills to pay, mouths to feed, shoes to buy. Timing is everything. Him? No. He just got here. Let him marinate for a minute. If you're the first to go over, you're almost guaranteed a rejection. He wants to survey…

Talk Is Cheap…Are You?

There are moments in life when it pays to be cute.  In fact, that’s how I landed my first bartending gig.  It all started at a local establishment in the dead center of Tampa’s club mecca - Ybor City.  I met this really, really cute girl (we’ll call her Kate) and she was adorable.  I…

If I Only Had A Brain…Or A Penis.

I won't keep you in suspense.  But I have to say that I must have a thing for backseats.  A group of us, consisting of mostly the same ladies from the Halloween outing, went out partying (surprise!) and got comfortably intoxicated and had an orgy in the back of a limo.  I do believe it…

Warning: Don’t Feed the Lesbian

I know what you're thinking: why the hell would you have sex with a woman whose hygiene was more than questionable?  It's easy.  I didn't do a damn thing - a pillow princess to the extreme.  And just to clarify: that's not my style.  I'm very active in my sexual endeavors; that's what I love the…