P.S.A #1: Public Stripper Announcement

EAR SUCKING SUCKS

Lap dances are extremely personal impersonal encounters.  By personal, I mean that you are two adults in a small room alone together where she gets naked and you watch.  Impersonal means that this is not the appropriate time for you to engage in activity reserved for your significant other, no matter how close she gets to you.  

If her ear grazes past your lips, it’s not an invitation to stick your tongue into it.  It’s not an invitation to nibble, bite, blow, kiss or suck it, either.  One, it’s way too damn personal.  Two, it’s completely unsanitary.  How do you know how often she washes her ears?  And how does ear wax taste?  More importantly, how does ear wax taste from a stranger?  And how does she know where your tongue has been?  Do you know that fluid left in the ear canal can lead to infection so the little puddle of spittle you leave in there could cause severe inner ear damage?  Not to mention that the sucking can be so intense as to cause her drum to burst?

Word to the not-so-wise: let her ear go.  It’s gross and could possibly lead to an injury…to your groin.

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12 thoughts on “P.S.A #1: Public Stripper Announcement

  1. I stumble on this site from a post you made on another blog and I told myself I would check out your blog as well! and happy to be a new blog follower after reading this post. Very entertaining! Look forward to more posts!

  2. Not that I’ll be the recipient of a lap dance any time soon, but I always appreciate ANY advice that prevents groin injury 😛 (That tongue was stuck out in mid air and shouldn’t cause any alarm, lol)

      • I’m actually acutely aware of the ramifications of touching 🙂 I don’t remember what birthday it was (probably because I was hammered, lol), but my department (I was the I.T.manager) of three ladies (one of whom was my wife (now ex) too me to the Gold Club and had me dragged up on stage to be made fun of. I was blindfolded and sat in a chair. One of the security personnel whispered “look all you want, drool, pant, howl like a wolf, but DON’T touch!”. When the blindfold was removed I was in the center of a ring of beautiful dancers and at eye level all I could see were boobs. After a lot of dancing by the ladies and much mockery of myself by the DJ, the ladies filed offstage and one of them leaned in and gave me the biggest sloppiest kiss right on the lips. I thought the bouncer was gonna murdelize me until the kind lady involved stopped him and told him I didn’t do a thing that she did. My heart stopped for a few seconds, lol

  3. I would think it’s also highly against the rules of most establishments (i.e. don’t touch the dancers). I couldn’t imagine suckling some poor unsuspecting lady’s ear. She’s just doing her job, doesn’t mean she’s inviting you to engage in any sort of relationship type behavior.

    I bet you’d sucker punch them!

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