Back on the homefront, things were going pretty well.  I was still involved with the dance company, traveling to shows, taking classes, performing, training, working at the shop, etc.  I was growing closer to my roomie, thanks to our awesome tag teaming in a downtown bar fight with these two guys who were mad because I wouldn’t dance with them.  She came to my aid, chasing one down the street while I tried to handle the other one.  I’m no fighter, but I can scrap well enough to defend myself.  Admittedly, the scar that is slightly visible on my lip came not from the guy I was fighting, but from my shoes that I took off to chase him with…they had a thick lucite heel and were quite heavy so when I was running and flailing, I clipped myself in the face.  This is my confession.  Over the years, I always said that the scar was from the guy’s sucker punch, which did happen but it wasn’t with that much force.  A little white fib to save myself some embarrassment.

I was also bonding in Tampa.  I was still hanging out with ‘Jen’, even spending the night when I was working in
Tampa for days at a time.  An evening out with some friends of hers was quite entertaining for all parties involved.  We were drinking, club hopping and being obnoxious so, naturally, clothes came off.  Just hers.  We weren’t a couple, exclusively dating or anything like that, but I was definitely sporting a hefty crush on her, and she knew it.  She showed affection at the right moments, making me feel like I had some importance in her life, but I was definitely wanting more.  So I was more than miffed when she started necking the guy next to her in the backseat while driving down the highway.  We were headed from one dance club to a strip club near where we worked and I was having a blast up until that moment.  I understood where our relationship was and that was cool, but don’t rub it in my face.  And they kept kissing.  I had two choices: be pissed or get over it.  I decided on a third option because I was more than pissed and I was not going to get over it anytime soon.  So I joined them.  Why not?  No exclusivity here.

I leaned in and started kissing her breasts, which were like rocks.  Fake rocks, but still very interesting to navigate.  When she started to moan, I glanced up and was pleasantly surprised to see that her attention was now on me and her lips were no longer glued to his.  We took a moment, eye to eye, and she smiled.  So I continued kissing well beyond her breasts.  Thank goodness for attentive drivers, because I’m sure if they had decided to pay closer attention to what we were up to, we would have been roadkill.  I can’t really express what was going through my mind as I was pulling her skirt up, but I’ll give it a go:

“Good.  No panties.  I can’t believe that this is happening right now in front of these people, two of whom I’ve just met.  What in the world are they thinking of me right now?  Who cares?  Her skin is so soft, like silk.  I’m really glad her legs are short because the backseat of this Lexus isn’t really big enough for all this maneuvering.  There.  Her leg propped that way gives me a much better angle.  This guy is staring at me weird, but I don’t really give a shit.  He can kiss my ass.  He may have a dick, but I know exactly what I’m doing, better than he ever fucking could and she is going to be as crazy about me after this as I am about her so how do you like that?  Oh, thank goodness.  She smells good.  That would be really fucked up if this entire time I’ve been fantasizing about this moment and she smells like a can of tuna.  She sounds like she’s really enjoying herself and is getting a bit loud.  Under the circumstances I should be proud of myself, but am i still enthralled with a woman who would let me do this to her with an audience?  And after kissing on that guy too?  Maybe she’s just drunk.  Yeah, that’s it.  She’s drunk.  And I think she might be almost there.  This position is murder on my neck so she better be.  Wow, she’s really w…”

Jen pops up right at that moment, explaining that we’re here.  And we were, having just pulled up to the front entrance.  Damn, I was really enjoying that.  We all get out of the car silently as if amateur porn hadn’t just been happening down the highway.  I tried to get a read on her face, but she was avoiding my eyes.  That can’t be good.  Once we’re inside the club, there’s no chance of talking about anything because everyone knows her and wants to say hi and be seen, so I just smile and go with the flow.  I didn’t have much of a choice.  I was very concerned about what she was thinking of me after what had just happen so it was quite difficult for me to meet and greet.  And then she was gone.  I couldn’t find her.  And this club was about the size of someone’s living room.  So many people were crammed in here and it was stifling hot.  I kept glancing around the stage, which wasn’t easy because the stage took up almost the entire space.  And the atmosphere was red.  Red lighting everywhere.  I couldn’t distinguish one person from the next.  Arms, legs, faces mingled everywhere.  It very much resembled an opium den, or at least what I’d imagine an opium den to look like.  Dancers walked around naked, men had shirts unbuttoned, the music was blaring, girls were grinding and crawling everywhere.  And this may be the moment when my innocent, naive self officially left the building.  I loved what I was seeing.  The women were hot, willing and I was horny as hell, searching for a tiny Asian in this human haystack.  Finally, I found her.

She was naked, dancing for the guy she had been kissing in the backseat.  What the hell?  I was beyond bitter.  This was war and I wasn’t going down without a fight.  Pun intended.  I sat right next to him, crossed my arms and looked at her like the jealous wannabe lover that I was.  She didn’t bat an eyelash.  She just moved over and starting gyrating on me, touching and kissing me right there on a sleazy bench in the middle of this nude circus.  I couldn’t have been more thrilled.  We were easily going for it until the manager came over and decided that perhaps we were going a bit far.  He was right.  Unfortunately.  Jen got dressed and I got blocked…again.  In hindsight, the manager did me a favor, stopping me from doing something I’d wake up to regret in the morning.  There’d be plenty more opportunities for that later.  And soon.  Like, where was he when I let…nevermind, I’ll get to that later.

We finished the night on stage and I actually came out ahead financially for the evening.  How we ended up onstage I don’t exactly remember.  I also don’t remember what happen back at Jen’s apartment afterward.  If I were a betting woman, I’d guess that I fell asleep on the couch (where I woke up) and Jen and the backseat guy had sex in her bedroom.  I didn’t see him in the morning but I just had that gut feeling, you know?  Like there was a pink elephant in the room that only I couldn’t see.  We had breakfast, parted ways for the time being and I drove home to Gainesville.  It was a very quiet drive.  I had a lot on my mind…

3 thoughts on “I Never Saw That One Coming

  1. Hey, I just wrote how guys are turned on by bisexual women. Then I read this. Up until now, I just found your stories interesting, your writing intelligent and amusing, and the descriptions vivid and sometimes mildly titillating.
    This one, on the other hand, is really, really hot. I mean, I’m sorry for you that she ended up fucking the guy instead of you. (You are the narrator, so I identify with you, even though I probably have more in common with the guy. I have one thing in common with him, anyway). But, like I said, the bisexual angle is really arousing. And here, I thought you said you had retired from the business of giving guys erections!


    1. Quite a few dancers are at least bi-curious. I’m probably one of the few who can say they identified as lesbian before ever becoming a dancer. An electrically charged atmosphere can definitely take the credit for several wayward lesbian fantasies that became reality for a lot of girls. And honestly, it is pretty fun getting any one aroused, male or female! Is that mean of me, lol?
      Wait until I get into my antics in Atlanta…Tampa is G-rated compared to that!


      1. So,
        I can expect to get more erections from reading future installments? I’m not sure you’re out of the business yet.


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